I'm starting to dream again
This was my entry on 26th February when I'd almost felt like I don't want to live another day again.
Who's gonna dry my tears, when im crying
Who's gonna hold my hand, when im dying
Determination, perseverence and persistence. In whatever you do, if you apply these three keys you're bound to succeed.
Be it in a love situation, an exam situation or a new diet regime situation.
I recently read an article by where how these three keys, or principles of thought, brought someone success and in the process, brought confidence as well. The man now owns one of the worlds leading company here which i decline to name. Im sounding like im talking about money but no. Its definitely true that money may be the most important thing in this world. But there are so many other things in this world that means more than money and that money cant buy. A very simple example without much complication is of course, Love. Spell it with a capital L for all I care. Another uncomplex example is Life. Funny how these things that money cant buy starts with the letter L. Some would argue of course what's the use of Life and Love when there's no Money. Debatable argument I must say. These are the people that I would gladly label as greedy pigs. Ask the faithful bunch. When you already have a Life and Love, Money isnt that important. Believe me when I say, millionares in this world would gladly buy your Life and Love if its for sale or even buyable. and how many times have you seen this scene where by even without Money, Love will help you pull through any situations. Its true rich people can buy a night of love but its not long lasting. It never is.
Good news. I have till June to clear my desk. Desk of life. Its still 4 months away or shorter. It might be long or short depending on how you look at it. For me, I prefer to see it as a long period of time rather than short. Thats being optimistic although there's no bright side to death. Only God knows why he's putting me through this. If im lucky, I might even make it till my birthday. But we'll see. Whether I want to. It seems that its harder for me to leave when im 25. I'm not sure why. OK i'll come clean. It not even being about 25. Its about the day itself. On the 25th.
2 years ago, 'he' wished me 'happy birthday' on my birthday but i didnt on his because we havent known each other before his birthday. But fair enough as last year, I managed to wish him a happy birthday on his day but he didnt on mine. I was kinda upset. So this year, im hoping for something like 2 years ago to happen. Cos i didnt wished him this year. But the chances of him wishing me this year is highly unlikely just as it is with me being an astronaunt. So, to save me the trouble of being sad, I wanna leave before my birthday so that i'll never know. Plus, if i were to survive till my birthday, the actual fact that he never wished me would kill me anyways so why bother facing the inevitable future when its evitably set. But maybe, just maybe, i will call him to hear his wonderful voice. Providing he havent change his number yet and i'll even keep quiet when he answers so that he wouldnt have to hear my lousy voice. Cos my voice on the phone isnt probably but definitely why I only get one chance to talk to guys as after i've called, I never do hear from them ever again. Some I do but it never was the same. Even my friends dad said i sound like a drunkard over the phone. Well done to me. Also now that I'm putting it out here I sounded like a nineteen year old. What's going on with me 4 months ago, was... I'm glad I'd passed through it.
I'll never forget this life even if I want to. Even if I have this guy situation. Its even more meaningful not having a boyfriend for 25 years of my life. I fall into the same category as geeks, nerds, gays and retards. Who am I kidding? Even some of those in category I mentioned have boyfriends. Hmmhm
Who's gonna dry my tears, when im crying
Who's gonna hold my hand, when im dying
Determination, perseverence and persistence. In whatever you do, if you apply these three keys you're bound to succeed.
Be it in a love situation, an exam situation or a new diet regime situation.
I recently read an article by where how these three keys, or principles of thought, brought someone success and in the process, brought confidence as well. The man now owns one of the worlds leading company here which i decline to name. Im sounding like im talking about money but no. Its definitely true that money may be the most important thing in this world. But there are so many other things in this world that means more than money and that money cant buy. A very simple example without much complication is of course, Love. Spell it with a capital L for all I care. Another uncomplex example is Life. Funny how these things that money cant buy starts with the letter L. Some would argue of course what's the use of Life and Love when there's no Money. Debatable argument I must say. These are the people that I would gladly label as greedy pigs. Ask the faithful bunch. When you already have a Life and Love, Money isnt that important. Believe me when I say, millionares in this world would gladly buy your Life and Love if its for sale or even buyable. and how many times have you seen this scene where by even without Money, Love will help you pull through any situations. Its true rich people can buy a night of love but its not long lasting. It never is.
Good news. I have till June to clear my desk. Desk of life. Its still 4 months away or shorter. It might be long or short depending on how you look at it. For me, I prefer to see it as a long period of time rather than short. Thats being optimistic although there's no bright side to death. Only God knows why he's putting me through this. If im lucky, I might even make it till my birthday. But we'll see. Whether I want to. It seems that its harder for me to leave when im 25. I'm not sure why. OK i'll come clean. It not even being about 25. Its about the day itself. On the 25th.
2 years ago, 'he' wished me 'happy birthday' on my birthday but i didnt on his because we havent known each other before his birthday. But fair enough as last year, I managed to wish him a happy birthday on his day but he didnt on mine. I was kinda upset. So this year, im hoping for something like 2 years ago to happen. Cos i didnt wished him this year. But the chances of him wishing me this year is highly unlikely just as it is with me being an astronaunt. So, to save me the trouble of being sad, I wanna leave before my birthday so that i'll never know. Plus, if i were to survive till my birthday, the actual fact that he never wished me would kill me anyways so why bother facing the inevitable future when its evitably set. But maybe, just maybe, i will call him to hear his wonderful voice. Providing he havent change his number yet and i'll even keep quiet when he answers so that he wouldnt have to hear my lousy voice. Cos my voice on the phone isnt probably but definitely why I only get one chance to talk to guys as after i've called, I never do hear from them ever again. Some I do but it never was the same. Even my friends dad said i sound like a drunkard over the phone. Well done to me. Also now that I'm putting it out here I sounded like a nineteen year old. What's going on with me 4 months ago, was... I'm glad I'd passed through it.
I'll never forget this life even if I want to. Even if I have this guy situation. Its even more meaningful not having a boyfriend for 25 years of my life. I fall into the same category as geeks, nerds, gays and retards. Who am I kidding? Even some of those in category I mentioned have boyfriends. Hmmhm