L

where do I fit in? My mother keeps telling me she cant hear what was I talked about cause she thinks I mumbled. I mostly believed half life thinking I do mumbled. It doesn't only buried my dream to appear as one of normal Amazing Race Asian contestants but makes me believe just it. I never be able to get better than this. I begun to disappoint her ever since. But I cant blame her completely except for not doing anything about it. Only more reminders that I shouldn't mumble ever again. Only I need to be good in writing for a hind side. Lovely.

I feel like I have too much on my plate wait, no i feel like i have too much food in my mouth. too much that i have difficulty chewing and in the process of masticating my food, i choke on a jelly worm and now i am gasping for air but my lips are turning purple

I felt sad today. Reviewing all the "friends" I have in my life. Asking myself, what if right now, at this very moment, I needed to call someone. Who would I call? I scroll through my phone book and the only 5 people who would care, are all, at least 500000 miles away. I get more sad and everything is super sized and exaggerated and blown way out of proportion and for one second I tell myself that I, that am alone in this world. I guess we all are. At the climatic moment of my unhappiness, I then take one more second and think about self inflicted pre-mature death but erased the idea as soon as I got the last letter down on paper. I have a lot to live for. Who will use the sink that which I use to clean my miso soup bowl? Who will attempt to finish all the food in the world? Me me me. I'm not sure what I am writing or thinking. I believe this is what they call ranting.