Life's an answered question
There this wish that I reconsider of a faith notion, to take a break from the usual mental routine and to let my mind wander. As to make a room to both serious and whimsical ideas that I had at the back of my mind. I wonder what is he up to right now. Defying gravity to release tension with a piece of board with four wheels again. I miss escaping. My friend once told me to stop reading all the shit and starts doing shit while I was doodling dots in this light blue journal that eventually became somewhat group of ants which where this talking nonsense has led me onto. In contributed to one of my unfortunate characteristic which found often always in a processing or digesting phase and for every fibre in my being to avoid being rejected, I rather keep my balls back in the sack so I don't have to ever get to be thrown on the floor, ever.again. I guess it will be the death of me not even trying to do things, that's when you are wrong about me, again...
I was dead and I came back to life given chances I had to try again in different time frame and state of mind. Presumably like cat, with nine live. I put my heart on my sleeves and put my all faith to show, being just so transparent and all confident in humor I been practicing, that ended up me being less talkative and even being secretive. Yes Shaq! You're only seeing what's in front of you, you're not seeing what's above you, that's right! People all just people. I can't help but to think of spoken words to me months ago, repeatedly which daunted to people, when it gets down to it, everyone's the same. They love something, they want something, they fear something, people relying on each other's mistakes to manipulate one another and use one another, even relate to one another. Which led on to calling it messy circle of humanity, then he fucked it up by bringing bomb to the table of innocent conversation in setting saying peoples all alone. Liyana whilst on the moon, accompanied by the loneliness that crept in, came back, being worse than I remember, I pictures Adam Sanders blank expression up-closed slowly being remote.
I think I fell in love with struggling humanity. Don't we all. I'm trying to be as positive as I can but I am to a point of giving up trying. But there some people out there that I came across with, crossed path with, later than sooner, awhile of time. And it doesn't happen a lot. It's rare. But they refuse to let you hate them. In fact, they care about you in spite of it. And the really special ones, they're relentless at it. Doesn't matter what you do to them, they take it and care about you anyway. They don't abandon you no matter how many reasons you give them. No matter how much you're frantically begging them to leave and you want to know why? Because they feel something. This blanket of the reality framed since the turn of the century, I must be complaining and not doing anything. We are in psychological warfare, in the form of advertising. Mind altering chemicals in the form of food. Brainwashing seminars in the form of media. Controlled isolated bubbles in the form of social networks. Real? You want to talk about reality? We haven't lived in anything remotely close to it. I just saw a twelve year old teenager died a soul of humanity when she threw her first trial of cheese naans into bin cause I walked away and did not pay single attention to it when she made it, assuming me lost interest in her interest of making naan, I was pissed off with her vocabulary aspect of rudeness wanting me to help her cook them to which I give up of with due to being tired myself from scrubbing the kitchen pantries all by myself. I sort of falling into a mum character which why I even had the audacity to give a thought about now. I can imagine me being a parent, but it hurts my brain that at certain point, I feel like killing these small devil people. I did. I have a nightly routine to keep dish off to its place/in drawer once they dry and I had knifes with me at the moment. Its so crazy man, I cant be having kids cause I will secretly want to kill them but I also love them that I rather take a bullet for them. But before that even happened, I will make sure these kids go to martial arts classes that I paid monthly for will be avoided that from happening to me. Yes kids! That is what you will do to make our ancestor proud!
What ever is happening right now, I don't want to calm the fuck out. Do you being distracted from thinking when did pretending everything is okay suddenly become the almighty norm. Don't take my words but in this day and age, it is sicker not having panic attacks. But I guess by realizing that now, you have certainly use up different access to being vulnerability. Access in changing the meaning of being here in this millennial world. By showing up no matter how many times we get told we don't belong. By staying true even when we're shamed into being false. By believing in ourselves even when we're told we are too different. If we all held on to that, if we refuse to budge and fall in line, just maybe this time the world can't help but change around us. That maybe how changing the world is about, but dont say you're alone. Don't bring hopeless poignant when you bravely want to change the mindset of the world, just thought about of something you have missed doing. I just gave you a tip from saying something negative to lower down peoples self esteem. I actually do miss escaping. You know I can't be taken serious from this but being spiritually involve of psychedelic experience from 3 years has help me witness higher level of peace, I don't miss that at all, in fact I'm sober now nearing to 3 years, I just thought of how the journey of escapes giving me the live that I enjoyed and intellectually benefits me. I'm too emotional being high that I decided to stop.
But in no words of other that I gave up on it forever, It losses its credibility of the needs-and-wants rank that causes it has no use for me right now, but let's be hopeful that we will not be needing it to pursue our ultimate goal of life. Lets just say see you again, better in time and understanding if not right.... I never actually play trivia games because I never met someone smarter than me that wants to spend time playing boring trivia games yet - again. Wait I lied, I did once. How can I forget. It was from the best tiresome bus rides of my life, one of a kind. Nope, just exaggerate about being one of a kind, I have many bus rides, people. I used to be cramped in a van that exist as 'Van Sapu' we called it, driven by my uncle. He does this for side incomes me think, this is before Uber/Grab was even exist and I took my brave self to experiences and accompanied him to what was supposed to be "we'll go out today all day" which basically just you driving around drops and stops-by, well first of all, I like to go out from the house when I was a teenager. I had a Lerun BMX Bike in purple blue for my twelve birthdays. I love that bike simply cause how it first came to and for me. I never thought telling you this exhilarate me. It was like looking at my first love. Like a boy getting their PSP Game. It came in a box folded. What so special about it? Well it took me to just unfold them to use it bruh. I almost forget my boyhood childhood.
Every after school, well I was born in 90s, and back then child abduction/kidnapping is all around the radars. I'd planned all these. Time of days I went out, to a length of five kilometres to supermarket - that is quite far for unsupervised kid to roam around daylight. kind of shirt I wore, I'd always wear caps. I never tell my mother cause she always in her room every afternoon. I'm being exaggerate again, it wasn't every afternoon. You're kidding right. My ninja skill will be compromised. What do you do if you are a child kidnapper and you saw this young girl appear everyday on a bike precisely at every 2:00 PM, You probably wait for good amount of time to make next move buddy. Well how did I know this, after some wee time seeking approval of my mom to go out for 2 worthiness of bubbles milk tea's, I gave up for 45 minutes that one fine day. She nagged the entire car ride home fetching us from school just about how I can plan my way avoiding being kidnap. I tried again the next day, this time, came prepared with all dead cause. I imprinted visual mapping of the whole entire supermarket by length of everyday passing on my way to school every morning. I do spot checks where can I park my bike whenever me accompanied my mum for grocery shopping. And I came back just before anybody realize I was gone beforehand. My mother is still probably napping. But I let my nanny knows cause if I tell my sisters about my whereabouts they will ask me to buy them things in compensate of mum the words.
I am good at this, I love the breeze slapping me whilst I ride my bike, tasted of freedom. But I am cautious with my surrounding. I always ride harshly, threw my butt up when ride hits bumps. Championed that no hands on the wheel sort of. I feel better about my childhood though. So I can and haven't have anyone to compete yet for the best childhood memory contest of my life. This secretly remained unchanged for now. For the best of it.
I was dead and I came back to life given chances I had to try again in different time frame and state of mind. Presumably like cat, with nine live. I put my heart on my sleeves and put my all faith to show, being just so transparent and all confident in humor I been practicing, that ended up me being less talkative and even being secretive. Yes Shaq! You're only seeing what's in front of you, you're not seeing what's above you, that's right! People all just people. I can't help but to think of spoken words to me months ago, repeatedly which daunted to people, when it gets down to it, everyone's the same. They love something, they want something, they fear something, people relying on each other's mistakes to manipulate one another and use one another, even relate to one another. Which led on to calling it messy circle of humanity, then he fucked it up by bringing bomb to the table of innocent conversation in setting saying peoples all alone. Liyana whilst on the moon, accompanied by the loneliness that crept in, came back, being worse than I remember, I pictures Adam Sanders blank expression up-closed slowly being remote.
I think I fell in love with struggling humanity. Don't we all. I'm trying to be as positive as I can but I am to a point of giving up trying. But there some people out there that I came across with, crossed path with, later than sooner, awhile of time. And it doesn't happen a lot. It's rare. But they refuse to let you hate them. In fact, they care about you in spite of it. And the really special ones, they're relentless at it. Doesn't matter what you do to them, they take it and care about you anyway. They don't abandon you no matter how many reasons you give them. No matter how much you're frantically begging them to leave and you want to know why? Because they feel something. This blanket of the reality framed since the turn of the century, I must be complaining and not doing anything. We are in psychological warfare, in the form of advertising. Mind altering chemicals in the form of food. Brainwashing seminars in the form of media. Controlled isolated bubbles in the form of social networks. Real? You want to talk about reality? We haven't lived in anything remotely close to it. I just saw a twelve year old teenager died a soul of humanity when she threw her first trial of cheese naans into bin cause I walked away and did not pay single attention to it when she made it, assuming me lost interest in her interest of making naan, I was pissed off with her vocabulary aspect of rudeness wanting me to help her cook them to which I give up of with due to being tired myself from scrubbing the kitchen pantries all by myself. I sort of falling into a mum character which why I even had the audacity to give a thought about now. I can imagine me being a parent, but it hurts my brain that at certain point, I feel like killing these small devil people. I did. I have a nightly routine to keep dish off to its place/in drawer once they dry and I had knifes with me at the moment. Its so crazy man, I cant be having kids cause I will secretly want to kill them but I also love them that I rather take a bullet for them. But before that even happened, I will make sure these kids go to martial arts classes that I paid monthly for will be avoided that from happening to me. Yes kids! That is what you will do to make our ancestor proud!
What ever is happening right now, I don't want to calm the fuck out. Do you being distracted from thinking when did pretending everything is okay suddenly become the almighty norm. Don't take my words but in this day and age, it is sicker not having panic attacks. But I guess by realizing that now, you have certainly use up different access to being vulnerability. Access in changing the meaning of being here in this millennial world. By showing up no matter how many times we get told we don't belong. By staying true even when we're shamed into being false. By believing in ourselves even when we're told we are too different. If we all held on to that, if we refuse to budge and fall in line, just maybe this time the world can't help but change around us. That maybe how changing the world is about, but dont say you're alone. Don't bring hopeless poignant when you bravely want to change the mindset of the world, just thought about of something you have missed doing. I just gave you a tip from saying something negative to lower down peoples self esteem. I actually do miss escaping. You know I can't be taken serious from this but being spiritually involve of psychedelic experience from 3 years has help me witness higher level of peace, I don't miss that at all, in fact I'm sober now nearing to 3 years, I just thought of how the journey of escapes giving me the live that I enjoyed and intellectually benefits me. I'm too emotional being high that I decided to stop.
But in no words of other that I gave up on it forever, It losses its credibility of the needs-and-wants rank that causes it has no use for me right now, but let's be hopeful that we will not be needing it to pursue our ultimate goal of life. Lets just say see you again, better in time and understanding if not right.... I never actually play trivia games because I never met someone smarter than me that wants to spend time playing boring trivia games yet - again. Wait I lied, I did once. How can I forget. It was from the best tiresome bus rides of my life, one of a kind. Nope, just exaggerate about being one of a kind, I have many bus rides, people. I used to be cramped in a van that exist as 'Van Sapu' we called it, driven by my uncle. He does this for side incomes me think, this is before Uber/Grab was even exist and I took my brave self to experiences and accompanied him to what was supposed to be "we'll go out today all day" which basically just you driving around drops and stops-by, well first of all, I like to go out from the house when I was a teenager. I had a Lerun BMX Bike in purple blue for my twelve birthdays. I love that bike simply cause how it first came to and for me. I never thought telling you this exhilarate me. It was like looking at my first love. Like a boy getting their PSP Game. It came in a box folded. What so special about it? Well it took me to just unfold them to use it bruh. I almost forget my boyhood childhood.
Every after school, well I was born in 90s, and back then child abduction/kidnapping is all around the radars. I'd planned all these. Time of days I went out, to a length of five kilometres to supermarket - that is quite far for unsupervised kid to roam around daylight. kind of shirt I wore, I'd always wear caps. I never tell my mother cause she always in her room every afternoon. I'm being exaggerate again, it wasn't every afternoon. You're kidding right. My ninja skill will be compromised. What do you do if you are a child kidnapper and you saw this young girl appear everyday on a bike precisely at every 2:00 PM, You probably wait for good amount of time to make next move buddy. Well how did I know this, after some wee time seeking approval of my mom to go out for 2 worthiness of bubbles milk tea's, I gave up for 45 minutes that one fine day. She nagged the entire car ride home fetching us from school just about how I can plan my way avoiding being kidnap. I tried again the next day, this time, came prepared with all dead cause. I imprinted visual mapping of the whole entire supermarket by length of everyday passing on my way to school every morning. I do spot checks where can I park my bike whenever me accompanied my mum for grocery shopping. And I came back just before anybody realize I was gone beforehand. My mother is still probably napping. But I let my nanny knows cause if I tell my sisters about my whereabouts they will ask me to buy them things in compensate of mum the words.
I am good at this, I love the breeze slapping me whilst I ride my bike, tasted of freedom. But I am cautious with my surrounding. I always ride harshly, threw my butt up when ride hits bumps. Championed that no hands on the wheel sort of. I feel better about my childhood though. So I can and haven't have anyone to compete yet for the best childhood memory contest of my life. This secretly remained unchanged for now. For the best of it.