Happy birthday letter of myself.
Now that I've more rest than usual, I have time to write, write and write. I love it. It does explain the consecutive days of entry doesn't it?
There's no such thing as writing to reach you. If there is, I would have gotten to him. Right at his footstep. Maybe even at his door step. But as the universe wants it, I am right now in front of my computer desk crafting this very post. Did I mentioned, how much I'm enjoying this? I love it. Okay second time? Nobody cares. I will say it as many times as I damn well please. Well, that's possibly the only thing going for me. I probably shouldn't be dwelling on failures. Little ones.
Not being cocky but I've come this far. 25 years worth of experience & hardship. Sweat, tears and blood. There's nothing i can't handle. We're talking about a little minor setback. It's shmuck. I will love again. I will find the man worth writing 20 songs about. He'll be so worth it, I'll even sing live for him. I will overcome my fear. I'll even serenade him to some secondhand serenade's songs. That weren't the usual gestures that I'd hope for when I finally found him, but I'm positive it will happen. When, I don't know. But it will. Now just go with it. I'm trying to move on from a grueling chapter. The least you could do is show some support. In any form. You wanna donate money? Be my guest. You wanna give me your boyfriend? No thanks. That's more of threat than a gift. It's like presenting me with a bomb for my birthday. Nicely wrapped in a square box with a neat ribbon tied around it. No one would have guessed it's explosives in there. Until I open it.
You're just gonna have to deal with that yourself. If you have a boyfriend worth giving away, it means either you're a failure or he is. But you can't be too bad of a loser than me because at least you managed to snag a boyfriend even though he sucks.
In my darkest hours, I found out who my true friends are. These days, I don't even care about making friends at all. Because it's useless. They'll just be the bunch who laugh with you. They won't ever cry with you. Unless you spray pepper spray in their eyes after you spray it at yours. Now, I don't seem to trust people anymore and when I don't trust them, I don't talk to them. It's really weird how these people find me to be very quiet. Cause if they were to ask my close friends, they'll be shocked to hear that I may be the noisiest and craziest friend they have ever had. Bahaha, I was kidding.
I'm getting old I feel. I browse through my blog posts as if they're old photos in a dusty photo album. But as I read, I realize how stupid I have been. Most of my posts were about love. I seemed so obsessed in trying to find the 'him' for me. The perfect one. When will I come to my senses? Its should be clear by now. I'll never find him.
I guess it's true when they say you'll never find the perfect one. Because..., there's no such thing in existence, and from what I've read, romance guides and love tips, who we will make our other half is one who will foresee all of their flaws. Because love makes us do that. We will love that person too much that nothing else matters. So maybe, just maybe, I've been overseeing some of the people in my life. Cos 'mine' may just be right under my nose. I just never realize it. Yeah. I should stop looking and maybe just let fate do its work and weave it's magic.
There's no such thing as writing to reach you. If there is, I would have gotten to him. Right at his footstep. Maybe even at his door step. But as the universe wants it, I am right now in front of my computer desk crafting this very post. Did I mentioned, how much I'm enjoying this? I love it. Okay second time? Nobody cares. I will say it as many times as I damn well please. Well, that's possibly the only thing going for me. I probably shouldn't be dwelling on failures. Little ones.
Not being cocky but I've come this far. 25 years worth of experience & hardship. Sweat, tears and blood. There's nothing i can't handle. We're talking about a little minor setback. It's shmuck. I will love again. I will find the man worth writing 20 songs about. He'll be so worth it, I'll even sing live for him. I will overcome my fear. I'll even serenade him to some secondhand serenade's songs. That weren't the usual gestures that I'd hope for when I finally found him, but I'm positive it will happen. When, I don't know. But it will. Now just go with it. I'm trying to move on from a grueling chapter. The least you could do is show some support. In any form. You wanna donate money? Be my guest. You wanna give me your boyfriend? No thanks. That's more of threat than a gift. It's like presenting me with a bomb for my birthday. Nicely wrapped in a square box with a neat ribbon tied around it. No one would have guessed it's explosives in there. Until I open it.
You're just gonna have to deal with that yourself. If you have a boyfriend worth giving away, it means either you're a failure or he is. But you can't be too bad of a loser than me because at least you managed to snag a boyfriend even though he sucks.
In my darkest hours, I found out who my true friends are. These days, I don't even care about making friends at all. Because it's useless. They'll just be the bunch who laugh with you. They won't ever cry with you. Unless you spray pepper spray in their eyes after you spray it at yours. Now, I don't seem to trust people anymore and when I don't trust them, I don't talk to them. It's really weird how these people find me to be very quiet. Cause if they were to ask my close friends, they'll be shocked to hear that I may be the noisiest and craziest friend they have ever had. Bahaha, I was kidding.
I'm getting old I feel. I browse through my blog posts as if they're old photos in a dusty photo album. But as I read, I realize how stupid I have been. Most of my posts were about love. I seemed so obsessed in trying to find the 'him' for me. The perfect one. When will I come to my senses? Its should be clear by now. I'll never find him.
I guess it's true when they say you'll never find the perfect one. Because..., there's no such thing in existence, and from what I've read, romance guides and love tips, who we will make our other half is one who will foresee all of their flaws. Because love makes us do that. We will love that person too much that nothing else matters. So maybe, just maybe, I've been overseeing some of the people in my life. Cos 'mine' may just be right under my nose. I just never realize it. Yeah. I should stop looking and maybe just let fate do its work and weave it's magic.